So very thankful...........

So this appears to be the end of our very long adoption journey!  We of course need some paperwork to finalize, but that is too uneventful to blog about really.  We are so excited to be a family of five!

I will probably stop blogging here.....but I can't without about a thousand thank yous.  We have been in the process on some level for over a year.

1st - I want to thank Andrea from Reece's Rainbow (and everyone who is a part of their team!)  - while we did not end up with a Reece's Rainbow angel as we had anticipated, we are so thankful for their organization and the good things they are doing for children around the world - including advocating and educating right here in America!  Perhaps someday we can adopt (WAYYYYY in the future) an older child through RR - but for now we promise to continue donating and sharing their cause!

Thank you to our friend Yahdira who was kind enough to do all of our adoption notary completely for free! This is an amazing ministry!  If you are in the North County SD area (or willing to travel to her) please email me & I will get you in touch - she offers free notary for families adopting for their adoption paperwork!

Thank you to Suzanne, Kathleen, and Kelly (not in any particular order =)) for putting together a beautiful fundraiser - we know it was just as much for 'Claire' as it was for us, and we know you love our Charlotte just as much as you loved Claire.  We are so thankful that so much of the money raised went to Gregory (still waiting on Reece's Rainbow) - we love that God has multiplied the children who have been adopted - first 'Claire', now our Charlotte, and prayerfully Gregory.....and prayerfully even more - we know that fundraiser touched many hearts and we know it helped so many more than just our family!

Thank you to EVERY person who prayed for and supported us in a million different ways!  We had dozens of friends, family members, and total strangers who blessed us with prayers, words of encouragement, and financial support.  We are so thankful and truly humbled - we know not everyone going through an adoption has this kind of support, and we do not take any of it for granted.

Thank you to the RR families we connected with - but especially Sarah - mommy to be of 'Caroline' waiting in Eastern Europe - we shared a lot of ups and downs.  She was a great comfort in that she understood a lot of what we were going through.  We are so thankful her little girl is still available and their paperwork was submitted - we ironically both now have 'heart babies' and we are thankful for the friendship we have been able to have with them! 

Thank you everyone who prayed for us when we got the terrible news that our 'Claire' was not to be ours.  We know we are exactly where we are supposed to be, but it was (and is) terrible for our family that we will never meet her in this lifetime - we are comforted by the fact that she is loved and HER family got to her before the shut down - we can only pray she has a beautiful life and that we can meet her on the other side of eternity.  We know all the prayers for her protection have not gone unanswered - we are sure she is just a treasure in her family.  While we miss her - we are just so happy she is loved.

Thank you to our other virtual friend Ivonne - who told us about Charlotte needing a family ASAP!

Thank you to Michelle at 'Adoption Answer' who took a leap of faith with us.  She needed a family immediately and she didn't know us at all.  She is a woman of integrity who truly wants what is best for all involved - birth mother, child, and adopting family - I'm sure she was nervous not knowing us beforehand - but we truly believe God put us all together.

Thank you to my parents who took our kids for the longest 'about a week' of all time - it turned out to be 3 1/2 weeks that we took before Charlotte was ready to leave.  Our big kids are cute, but they are a lot of work - Grandma & Grandpa shuffled them around everywhere they needed to go and never complained.

Thank you to our friends who helped them out with playdates and dinners when they needed a little break.

Thank you to the Ronald McDonald House for everything they do - because Charlotte was in NICU and we were more than 50 miles from home we were able to stay with the RMH for $10 a night!  We lost a bit of money when our Ukrainian adoption did not go through.  And while our travel obviously was less expensive - there were lots of new expenses with this new adoption - we are thankful our living expenses the last THREE weeks was next to nothing.  RMH serves so many - some families are here for months at a time - even 3 weeks we are so blessed!  Thank you to the volunteers here, those who brought in dinner and brought gifts for us and our kids.  Amazing, amazing people - making the world a much softer place.

And above all else, we thank God for burdening us for orphans.  It has been a much tougher road than the traditional route to a family - but we feel so richly blessed.  We are so thankful for the daughter we made.  But we are also so thankful for the son and daughter that are so perfectly part of our family but that we simply could not have made on our own - how blessed are we that we were put together with these little ones too.  The beauty of our three kids together speaks volumes of Your profound grace, love, and goodness.  Our prayer is to honor You as they grow.  We pray what You have done with us (despite us occasionally complaining, doubting, and crying along the way) will be a testimony others will be encouraged by.  More than that, we pray we honor You as we raise them - looking at all of them so little we just can't wait to see Your plans for them.  We are just people; regular people, and we just don't know why we were so blessed.

Signing off for now ~

All our love and gratitude ~

Kate, Harry, Josie, Silas, and Charlotte Elise

top 10 things i have learned in NICU

CLICK HERE to read my top ten list if you want =)

Please keep our Charlotte in your prayers....

Charlotte is doing ok - not bad, not great.  She is stable, but still needs a couple surgeries as well as several tests in the next couple months.  She needs heart surgery before her 2 month old birthday - it is unclear whether she will leave NICU before her surgery.

She still is working on eating from a bottle - about half her minimum is still fed through a tube and she seems to have a little reflux - making it harder for her to gain weight.

As we sit in NICU I am constantly aware of how many countries do not have this care and it is overwhelming and heartbreaking - I know if she had not been born where she is she maybe never would have made it this far.

Please take a moment to pray for our little girl, she is not out of the woods yet, please also pray for the millions of orphans world wide who need a family NOW.

Kate

Welcome Charlotte Elise.....

Our adoption journey took a very sharp turn yesterday....

Please read our story HERE

We'll write more here later, it just seemed silly to write it out twice.

Blessings ~
Kate

A little ghost named 'What if' has moved into my house.

As we move on to the next chapter of our adoption (details to come) I can't help but feel haunted by a little girl we had already made a part of our lives.

She will never physically live here, but we have memories of her, and memories of our dreams for her.  We have pictures and little 2T outfits that would have looked really good with her dark blonde hair and big blue eyes with the tags still on them. I found a paper with Oleksandra's region written on it, and the google search still comes up on my computer.  We researched hospitals and surgeons that might help her little hands and feet, and when we hear a name similiar it hits us that all that information is unnecessary now.

I don't just wonder what she is doing now, I am sure she is doing great with her forever family.  But I feel haunted by what she would be doing with us.  We would likely be traveling now (had circumstances been different) and I can't seem to stop my brain from playing over and over again our trip to our son and wonder what might have been the same, what might have been different.

She will just always be 'missing' in our lives.  I know she was not ever ours and won't be, and we accept that.  But there is a weird little ghost of what could have been that just seems to creep up everywhere and bite me right behind the eyes. 

No matter what beautiful chapter lies ahead, Oleksandra won't be there.  I am sure it is a beautiful chapter, a chapter that could not have happened if she was here - and I hope that opening that chapter with all it's beauty and blessings and challenges will allow us to miss her, but realize that this was what was always 'meant to be'. 

I don't know if I am explaining it right, or if I am just being redundant - I'm just saying - the new 'little sister' will not replace her.  When our new little girl comes home (God willing) we will introduce her to her big sister & brother, and we'll still feel Oleksandra is missing from the picture.

There is no way to 'fix it' - it is just what is going on in my brain right now. 

Update - sort of

we did hear back about the little girl in Oleksandra's country - not sure when her release date is & if we would be starting from square one - waiting on that info.  She is a very cute little girl, she has lots of challenges but we feel confident that we could meet them.

Also praying about other options. 

Her country is still a difficult program - feeling so indecisive - please pray God just opens a door WIDE open for us and makes it easy. I know that sounds lame, but that is kinda what we feel we need right now.

Kate

*sigh* rambling update - not really an update on anything except my thoughts really....

So - we are doing our best to be patient.

We have asked about another child in Oleksandra's country - we only know that she will not be released for international adoption until at least August & our paperwork would need to be redone (not all of it - but a lot)

Her medical condition was extremely vague - getting more info has not been easy - we have heard nothing.

We are trying to be patient, with all the upset in her country I am sure there are lots of families keeping the whole RR team very busy.

We are starting to look elsewhere - other countries - we know we will adopt a special needs girl someday - seriously not sure where - it really has only been a few weeks since we heard that Oleksandra had been adopted.

May 4th exactly - it seriously boggles my mind still.  We knew it was legally possible, but I just can't fully wrap my head around it.  I think we will always miss her - I don't know if that is appropriate, but I will.  My heart hopes some day to meet her in heaven, and I don't mean that in a trite way, I honestly mean it.  We seriously loved that little girl.  We know we will never meet her on Earth.  I will continue to pray for her, and I really do look forward to the opportunity of someday meeting her - how awesome would that be?!

I try to remind myself that beautiful girl has been loved and cherished by her family, being jealous of her family has subsided somewhat - but I am still a little jealous.

Please pray for our adoption process - we would like to hear back about this little girl we asked about in Oleksandra's country, we've also asked about (and had info sent over) about a BEAUTIFUL little girl in Tawain.

We want more than anything to support RR - we have prayed for & supported this organization in some way since we found it just a few months after we adopted our son (over 3 years ago) - it has literally been our dream.

Anyway - sorry for the rambling, I just hadn't updated in a while and thought I should.

Please pray for our adoption process -we know God has called us to adopt a special needs orphan...just trying to figure out where she is from.  Please pray for us as we continue to mourn 'Claire'.

Kate