Friday, February 11, 2011

One day at a time....

So here is a bit more info about what is going on...........

1) this has NOTHING to do with RR - nothing at all - this is a change with the country Claire lives in.  There was no way to predict it.  RR is doing it's best to get the kids committed to home with those who committed to them, but there is only so much they can do.

2) I am so thankful this country is still open for Intercountry adoption.  there are many countries with TENS OF THOUSANDS of orphans that do not even allow adoption internationally and their country men wont adopt them.  We are so thankful this country still allows it.

So her country was closed (as many are) for the holidays and the end of the year.  It reopened on February 10th.  Our paperwork got there the day before requesting 'Claire' specifically *yay*

Claire (until that date) could only be adopted by a family in her country.  She became available Internationally on February 10th. 

Oh wait.

When it reopened it reopened with new guidelines - mainly - you cannot have a child 'held' for you.  You MUST go with a 'blind referral'.  ALL that paperwork now means nothing.  Claire is NOT held for us & will not be until our dossier is submitted - in 8 weeks(ish) - assuming she is still available.

We are now technically and legally going on a blind referral - this is how it used to be done in her country - it seems they have decided that is the best way to go.  Blind referral means - you tell them what kind of child you are open to & they find a pool of kids that meet those guidelines & you meet them once you go - then you petition to adopt them there. Our hope is that Claire will be in our pool.  Our hope is she will not meet another family and be chosen before our paperwork gets there.(heartbreaking I know)

Technically she could make it into someone else's pool of kids to choose from - seeing as she is extremely adorable we are scared she would get picked.

There are potentially hundreds of people who will submit dossiers between now and when ours will be submitted.

We are just taking it day by day.  Each day she is NOT chosen is one less day we have to wait to find out.  We will get a child, just maybe not her - seriously how crazy is that?!

*side note* - we do praise the fact that we are concerned that she would have another family - not that she would remain an orphan - but in all selfishness honesty - we want her.

Statistically odds are still very much on our side.  For some reason people shy away from kids with less than 10 fingers and 10 toes.  There are millions of orphans in Eastern Europe alone (that is not an exaggeration - totally true number) - there are so many to choose from - statistically she will still be waiting.

Legally we still need to know and accept where we stand - we have no cards.

It kinda hit me in the stomach when I read on a RR message board that another little girl (only a few months older than 'Claire') was released for International adoption on February 10th - she had a committed family - the committed to her a few months before we committed to Claire and actually we considered her before we saw Claire. Her special need was that she was born quite premature and had CP - but she could walk. Arguably 'less' of an issue than what Claire has going on.

She became available on the 10th.  The same day she was accepted as a blind referral to a French couple that will undoubtably love her to pieces.  But I can't imagine what the RR family that has loved her for 6 months & put so much time/effort/money/ etc into paperwork and the process must be feeling.

Anyway - reading that story made it all the more possible that it could happen to us - that it is happening.

We know there are potential hazards with adoption, specifically Intercountry.  We take that on, but it is really hard.

I'm gonna ask that nobody writes me any 'oh God has a plan, maybe this one just wasn't yours' kind of emails/comments - I would never write that to somebody who suffers a miscarriage, I'm not saying it is exactly the same - but unless you really embrace adoption in your heart you just might not understand the depth of love we have for this little girl & we might just 'go off' on you for making light of a potentially devastating turn of events.  I know that people mean well.... I just had to put that disclaimer out there....

We will be ok, but if she is not ours - it will be hard to not remember her, wonder about her, etc....

Also - we do firmly believe God does not make mistakes. We don't need anyone reminding us of that, we know is just a hard place to sit and trust when you don't know the outcome and you REALLY want something to go a certain way...

Please pray these 6 - 8 weeks go quickly - and that it is just one more piece of our story that ultimately ends up happy.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings - I hope it helps those with questions.



  1. thank you so much Joni - we feel God has done so much throughout this process and we saw him work miracles in our son's adoption (not the same country but still some issues) - and we just would love nothing more than to have her as our little sister....thank you so much for just praying! there are SO many kids - I pray that others will be seen and chosen and that our special Claire just stays put =)

  2. My husband and I lost 5 babies through miscarriages and we have had 2 experiences of possibly losing the daughter we are trying to adopt. She will not be available for international adoption until sometime in April. The feelings were not the same but yet the same.
    We have been told many times that "God has a plan" and that is so true; but it does not make it any easier. This child is still the child of your heart. You may not have seen or held him/her but you have prayed for and loved them just the same.
    Everything is possible with God and to that promise I cling!! Praying for your family.

  3. I found your site through muffintinmom. I am so glad I came over. I want to encourage you by saying I am believing with you that she will be your daughter one day! Please go read my latest blog post; I hope it encourages you! Even when it seems impossible … and I completely understand what it feels like to love a child you've never met … to love him or her as your own.

    Big hugs and prayers, Leslie