Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Kind of the worst day ever

So for some reason - today seemed worse than the day we heard 'our' Marissa was gone.

We've been hearing lots of well meaning friends say 'take your time to work through your loss' - which would be awesome - but we've put MONTHS into this 'process' and the paperwork is only current for a short period of time - all paperwork is emotionally and physically draining - and frankly costs money - 'taking our time' would be very costly in many ways....

'just picking another' is starting to look more complicated than ever - timing is terrible and because we aren't open to all special needs (please, please don't judge us - there are lots we are open to - but some we aren't) we have some more complications.  Our dossier apparently needs something changed and it will be expired on June 18th (it expires 6 months from the first date on an item - our first date was Dec 18th - a doctors appt) - I don't even know if the whole thing is expired or if we just need to update - I have no idea - anybody know??

We want to exhaust the options in that country - the problem is we don't seem to be getting a lot of options...

There are children in other countries - but the cost of changing countries (and that most countries are more expensive) really screws up our 'adoption fund' - most we simply can't afford.  Even if we could muster up the energy and emotion to jump through the hoops for another country - we simply can't afford it. 

The money aspect of it is a HUGE issue for us - we saved about 25% before we committed to 'Marissa' - we saved and worked extra during the process - but more than 25% was donated - we are SO thankful and humbled by so many family and friends that chose to help fund our adoption process - we want to honor that - but we are hitting so many hurdles.

Please pray we get some answers - that some doors open, that our heart's desire to adopt again, and to adopt a child with some medical special needs can come to fruition.  We are feeling very discouraged.


  1. The whole dossier does not expire, only the documents that are past the six month mark. Praying for you. I know this is very hard, but this is no surprise to God, He will direct your paths.

  2. I am so sorry... I am not sure what your requirements are re a child.. country and health issues. I have been donating to a little girl on Reeces Rainbow her name is Cora Lynne. I believe she is in Russia
    and the little girl under her Teri is in the Ukraine.
    I have also made a donation to a little girl that has HIV and I believe in Russia

    I was also making donations to Helen http://reecesrainbow.org/helen-2
    But when I went to look she was now in the section " A family found me" that just makes me so happy :) Please dont give up and know that so many children are waiting for a loving family like yours. When the time is right you will know.

  3. we can't go to Russia - it is twice the cost (almost) and we've already invested thousands in the country we started. It is also three trips and we have two small children at home - we can't travel three times.

  4. Are you open to a little girl with hiv?

  5. Zinnia, Mandy, Maggie or Nadia maybe? They're all among the younger of the "RR other angels", born 2009 or even 2010. And they're cute too :-) Though I guess you've already checked through that list up and down several times.....

    I realize this must all be so very hard for you!

  6. Perhaps Delilah (Larsen syndrome) or Virginia (hiv+)? I am praying for you and I hope God shows you the child he has picked for your family very soon.

  7. If our kids were bigger we would be open to HIV - but our son is such a rough & tumble guy & just not able to understand HIV and how to be careful - we could years down the road, but right now not - we've asked about several of the girls mentioned - still have not heard back to confirm if they are still available....

  8. I was reading another blog and the family is in the Ukraine now. I guess many issues have come up and she was asking that any people adopting in the near future contact her so she can share the information. As for a little girl that is in the ukraine Teri Lynne their is a 5/5/5 warrior for her. I will try and post the link for her. She is just adorable. :) I totally understand the unknown fear of younger chldren with HIV and wanting to be very caucious keep your head held high...... It will all work out

  9. http://helpingtheleastofthese.blogspot.com/2011/04/ipad-2-more-fundraisergiveaway-for-teri.html

    And here is the direct link to Teri Lynn

    You might also want to contact judy Williams she is with global adoption services. This is her email :maryland@adoptglobal.org
    She is very helpful . She will be able to help you with any adoptions with children on recess rainbow. Keep us posted :)

  10. Hi, prayed for you guys. It must be very hard. Have you considered anastasia (arthrogryposis)? Just a thought that came to me while pondering your blog and circumstances. God will lead you to your little one.